lectrix_lecti: (I'd rather... (Blackadder))
[personal profile] lectrix_lecti

Let's talk about porn. Why yes,[info]skinfaxe, this is partly inspired by your recent entry.

More specifically, let's talk about saliva in porn.

I'll cheerfully admit that I haven't seen all that much porn, since visual erotica and pornography mostly bores me. However, in entirely too many of the naughty flicks and images I've seen there's a terrible tendency to spit on the female genitals, and that irritates me a very great deal.

Let's make this perfectly clear: a woman who is turned on, unless something's not entirely working regarding her natural functions, provides natural lubrication. There's no need for artificial lubricants, and there's absolutely no need to spit on her bits.

Personally I find the spitting disgusting, but if it floats the boats of the parties involved in the act, they may certainly indulge. I just can't for the life of me imagine why spitting seems to be a nearly mandatory part of pornography.

That is, I can very well imagine why. The ladies who get spat on are probably not particularly turned on by the stubby Moustache Monster or the claw-nailed fake lezzie getting up close and personal with them. They're probably downright desert-like in that region during the session.

Now, the other day I had the great misfortune of reading one of the Norwegian wymmyn forums I really need to stay far, far away from (I think I was looking for a recipe...), and stumbled upon a thread where one gal explained that the saliva thing is necessary when having sex with a circumcised bloke.

My reaction was, in internet terms, O_o and D: with a side of WUT.

According to this woman, a circumcised penis needs more lubrication than what a normal woman provides, and all American men scoff at using artificial lubricant because it's for gay men (let's O_o and WUT a bit more here). She had had sex with at least 100* American men, all cut, and they all spat on her before penetration. That's totally how they do it, like.


Circumcised penii can get in without saliva? You know, saliva that actually dries out the surroundings after a little while? In surroundings that are already properly slidy provided you're not doing it wrong? Not on my planet, no.

And yes, I have some experience with male circumcision in action.

My theory is that if the horrid woman on that forum is right, the spitting on desert-like turned-off girly bits in porn may have done something to the mind of young, impressionable boys and girls, to the point where they think hawking up a gob is a natural part of sex. I'd like to get it proved that the bint is wrong, though.

I'd also like a general spit ban in porn. Sadly that probably won't happen. But just imagine, pornography where the ladies are actually turned on - oh how nice that would be.

Tune in next week for While we're at it, ban the enormously long and sharp and generally ow ow ow fake nails in porn.

*another internet term

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 12:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] saeble.livejournal.com
I hear ya.

There's also the really fucking stupid uncomfortable poses, for girls who study yoga 6 hrs a day, or men who've had the support ligaments to their tools cut so they can bend theirs almost back up their own 'man-vadge' if their plums weren't in the way.

Porn has a lot to answer for it terms of the really bloody stupid but camera friendly mis-information it presents. There's also the blatant misogyny and obsession with horse sized wangs.

Whats saddest, is that it goes both ways. Not only to young guys get the wrong idea... girls believe that what often happens in porn, is what the guy wants.

I see your icon and match it

Date: 2009-01-22 12:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lectrix-lecti.livejournal.com
Whats saddest, is that it goes both ways.

Precisely. And with the extremely easy access to porn now in the days of the intertubes, misinformation is omnipresent, I fear. It was proabably easier for my peers and me, back when porn was difficult to get one's hands on.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 01:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skinfaxe.livejournal.com
just like to make clear i do NOT believe porn to be a proper source of information, it's like the sex version of wikipedia.

but really? she didn't see any lack of logic there? (apropos circumcised and spit)

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 01:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lectrix-lecti.livejournal.com
More like the sex version of Uncyclopedia...

Nope, she didn't. Which leads me to believe she's one of those who doesn't actually self-lubricate enough and that she's not aware that most women do. I also believe that she's rolled in the hay with exactly one circumcised guy, who was a little lacking in the brain department.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 07:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 1975sherpa.livejournal.com
Hmm maybe another good subject would be Where to ejaculate, as not all girls like to cover their face in sperm.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lectrix-lecti.livejournal.com
Best eye rinse ever, you know!

I think I managed to gross myself out now.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 08:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 1975sherpa.livejournal.com
I must admit that by only reading these two entries+comments I have managed to not want any sex for at least today.

Eye rinse.

Just think of squirting, ew, ew, EW! Now thát grosses me out. Big time.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 09:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lectrix-lecti.livejournal.com
The squickiest thing I can think of is girl slobbering all over a poor innocent penis, so when she lifts her head long strands of saliva connect her mouth to the dick.


(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 09:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 1975sherpa.livejournal.com
Are you trying to make me nauseous?
I have to tell you... it's not working (I can stand anything except broken bones).

No I meant women squirting 'juices' from their lady bits. It's disgusting!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 09:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lectrix-lecti.livejournal.com
I got what you meant, I was just sharing ews. I don't mind squirting, but spit strands? EWWWWW

Now ask yourself: since most porn ladies are NOT turned on in any way, exactly what are they squirting? Tee hee.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 09:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 1975sherpa.livejournal.com
Oh yuk!
I don't even want to think about that.

And yeah spit strands, gross. EWWW
Especially cos when they would be coloured, it would be phlegm. And take it from me: phlegm is disgusting, especially in a jar... I see it every day at work!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 09:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lectrix-lecti.livejournal.com

Well. Of course the nurse out-grossed me. Also, if I recall correctly, Moon and I and a couple more people had this exact conversation elsewhere a few years ago, ending in "ohgod phlegm trumps all other gross things" kinda posts.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 09:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 1975sherpa.livejournal.com

And yeah it probably is the most gross thing in the universe.

We all should meet up some day and have weird conversations etc. Now thát could be fun. And gross.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 09:30 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lectrix-lecti.livejournal.com
I'm starting to think that we all should watch porn together. With popcorn, alcohol and snide remarks.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 09:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 1975sherpa.livejournal.com
Yeah, fun!

Much alcohol please!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-23 12:54 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] skinfaxe.livejournal.com
you two have SO out-grossed me and i actually have lunch reading this and EWWWWWWWW

srsly, phlegm?! i double my eww

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-23 01:28 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lectrix-lecti.livejournal.com
This strengthens my wish to gather you all to drink and watch disgusting spit-squirting porn.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-23 04:49 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tragicsupergirl.livejournal.com
I'm in for this plan!

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-23 04:37 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] 1975sherpa.livejournal.com
Ahaha don't ever eat lunch while reading things I've said. I manage to gross out most people while they're eating, except for doctors and nurses as they're used to doing this to each other...

Well yeah, phlegm... it's disgusting.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 07:29 pm (UTC)
mordyn4: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mordyn4

No matter what type of porn, the spitting is so fucking nasty that I always grimace, look away and shut the window.

Maybe there should be spit warnings. Yes. Definitely need warnings for spit.

And the idea that this will become some sort of norm in America because people watch it in porn.... I dunno, I think it might be worse that the craze for "buttsex because it's not really losing your virginity".

I for one have never been spit on and I WOULD CUT THE MOTHERFUCKER WHO TRIED IT.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-22 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lectrix-lecti.livejournal.com
I can't even begin to imagine what I'd do if some arse had done it to me back in my single days. I can think of few things I'd regard as more offensive, in a consenting adults setting. Not to mention completely unnecessary if you are doing it right, damnit.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-23 02:37 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jtmulc.livejournal.com
the saliva thing is necessary when having sex with a circumcised bloke.

Forget Snopes. As an American snipped male with some experience in the matter, I will tell you this is patently untrue. I don't get into spit. Just thinking about someone doing that forces me to suppress my gag reflex and think about something else.

So no spitting during sex.

Licking, however, is always fair game...

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-23 10:13 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lectrix-lecti.livejournal.com
I should have asked the spat-upon idiot to elaborate, I suppose, because I do wonder what kind of guys she's encountered. Eww.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-24 02:53 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] issendai.livejournal.com

I'm an American woman who has slept with plenty of circumcised American guys, and I've never run into any of the problems the woman on the forum talked about. Men tend to assume no lube is needed, and if it does turn out to be necessary, they've got nothing against the artificial stuff. Spit is an emergency measure, it doesn't go straight onto the woman's privates, and there is NO HAWKING INVOLVED OH GOOD GOD EW.

The spitting thing in porn makes me glad I don't watch more porn. Why even bother spitting? Why not stop the cameras for half a minute--like they do for everything else--and apply K-Y or Astroglide? The audience won't be able to tell, the actress will get lube that works, everyone's happy.

(no subject)

Date: 2009-01-24 10:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lectrix-lecti.livejournal.com
I've wondered about the no stopping to apply lube thing. Lubricants look pretty shiny and appealing, the audience can pretend the lady is aroused, all's well. But no. Great big gobs of spit, that's the ticket.

I'm starting to think I need to make porn, so at least someone on this earth gets it right.

July 2009

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