Ho hum

Sep. 30th, 2008 01:10 pm
lectrix_lecti: (Default)
I'm now at a point where in any given day I'm likely to have a cigarette or two and/or a nicotine gum or two. In other words, the nicotine habit seems to be mostly gone, and now it's just the "I WANT to have a smoke, damnit" not-habit left, with a side dish of "omg I can't believe I don't smoke anymore, must rectify that" heebie-jeebies.

Ideally, I want to allow myself to have a fag when I bloody well want to, but I don't want to be addicted to the stuff, and it seems like I'm almost there. I need to let go of the "what, no nicotine at all today" anxiety, and then I'm good. I imagine the one or two cigarettes thing will sort itself out anyway, once it gets too cold to be okay with standing around outdoors.

I chew a great deal of non-nicotine gum, though. I'm not so happy with the xylitol intake, but I'll just let it slide for now. If I try to kick that as well I'll end up an alcoholic or something.

Wrigley's spearmint Extra Fresh with gel (!) centre is possibly the vilest thing in the history of chewable sweets.

lectrix_lecti: (Default)
Something very odd is going on. My energy level is disturbingly high, I'm constantly in a splendid mood, I no longer crave sugar and caffeine and I'm generally feeling terrific.

Must be temporary side effects of feeling I'm an insanely good girl for giving up smoking.

I'll enjoy it while it lasts. Yesterday I got absurd amounts of things done at work, then went on in the same fashion at home. I did lots and lots of laundry, cleaned the fridge, gave the potted plants the care of their life, you name it. Hell, I even made a vegetarian dinner.

In other news, I'm also giving up the habit of reading over strangers' shoulders on the metro. I sat next to a nursing student yesterday and now know entirely too much about fecal vomiting.

lectrix_lecti: (Default)
While Monday was SHEER HELL, yesterday wasn't bad at all. The nicotine gum takes the edge off the sufferings, and all yesterday I only had one serious OH GOD I WANT A CIGARETTE FUCKING NOW moment.

This is going quite well. From 20-25 cigarettes to 7 pieces of gum is better than I expected, really, but considering I've spent some weeks methodically disturbing my smoking habits there's only the nicotine addiction left to deal with.

Ha, "only".
lectrix_lecti: (God's sick jokes)
I can't believe how slowly time passes when you can't go have even one little cigarette.
lectrix_lecti: (Default)
I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of these kick the habit-tagged posts. Feel free to ignore them, I make them first and foremost for my own sake.

Yesterday went well. From I left work at 15:30 until I went to bed around 22:00 (yes, I was knackered) I had four cigarettes. That's less than half of what I usually smoke. I managed to cut out two classic just-waiting-and-bored cigs, and didn't feel remotely nicotine-depraved.

This morning I dropped one of the customary two cigarettes I have with my morning tea (partly due to not really having time for tea, so I just had a cigarette while changing from one bag to another), dropped the waiting-for-metro cig and I feel very angelic.

I'm off to buy some coffee now. Usually I have half a cigarette on my way to the coffee shop, and a whole one on my way back. I'll drop the first of these.

You may get the impression that I'm a fairly heavy smoker. That's absolutely true.

ETA: fucking hell, one more reason to quit: sick of fumbling a lit cigarette into various items of clothing. Thankfully I didn't burn a mark or a hole in my brand new and utterly cool tri-coloured scarf.

lectrix_lecti: (Default)
Now that I'm over the initial shock...

These are my reasons to quit smoking:
  • It's too bloody expensive and I want the money for such things as travels
  • I want my breath back
  • It's getting too fucking bothersome to be addicted to something that's forbidden everywhere
  • My husband's family has a history of lung cancer, his mum has got it now, and he's scared
What I'm not going to do if I can avoid it:
  • Use nicotine replacements. I have some nicotine gum, purchased for plane trips, and it makes me sick. I think using stuff like that is only prolonging the suffering, you still feed the addiction. My nicotine addiction is pretty bad, and I don't want to feed it while pretending I'm kicking it.
Instead I'll rely on my favourite salty licorice pastilles.

I stated at the quitting site that I wish to prepare myself for The Big Day by reducing the number of cigarettes I smoke. I'm going to go about that in the following ways:
  • When I want a cigarette I'll ask myself "Do I really, really want this now or can I wait 15 minutes?". If the answer is that I can wait, I'll ask myself again after 15 minutes. And again, until the answer is "I want this cigarette fucking now".
  • I'll cut out all the useless cigarettes I tend to smoke, and always have to put out before it's done, because I have a habit of smoking every chance I get. I don't need a cig while walking to the cafeteria, I'll get one right after I've eaten. I don't need one while waiting for the metro.

I'd like to get to the point where I can have a cigarette if I want but I'm not addicted anymore. I suspect I'll have to wait a long while after September 22nd to get there, thought.
lectrix_lecti: (God's sick jokes)
Jesus fuck, I just signed up for a quit smoking service. I have just stated that I'll take my last cigarette September 21st.

I'm scared shitless.

Hold me.

July 2009

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